So here’s what everybody does, and has done forever …

WhizBang Technologies, the leading provider of something or other, and ThingDoodle Systems, a leading provider of ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

That’s how companies are announcing their exploits to to the world. By inducing comas.

Stop it. Just stop it.

Press releases are no longer mechanisms to induce journalists to produce news stories. They ARE news stories. A lot of people in this industry read press releases directly because they get them distributed to their email via the Internet, flagged in automated news alerts based on keywords. If you set up Google Alerts, you can get just about anything relayed to you that mentions Digital Signage. Or Octomom, if you have surrendered your mind.

The point is that your opening paragraph should not follow time-honored conventions and bore the pants off people by droning on about the company and its empty-suited market positioning statement. The leading paragraph is your opening statement … the big news .. the stuff that gets people excited, gets them reading on and, ideally, sees them going to your Website or giving someone at your company a call.

At minimum, the opening paragraph tells those interested your company has market momentum. Or is doing some cool stuff.

Here’s a release I just grabbed off PR Newswire … pretty much the first one I saw:

Matrox Graphics, the leading manufacturer of specialized graphics solutions, today announced that YCD Multimedia has chosen the Matrox M9140 graphics cards to drive the YCD MuVi Wall(TM) video wall solution at Israel’s Aroma cafes. The high impact YCD MuVi Wall uses Matrox M9140 graphics solutions to drive six channels of promotional digital messaging, all from a single PC workstation.

YCD Multimedia, a leading provider of smart in-store digital media solutions, was hired by Aroma to design a digital signage application within their coffee shops to help retain and expand their customer base. The criteria for the new digital signage solution included the ability to centrally manage all promotional, sales, and marketing content, while incorporating a design that would address the needs of both the quick service and in-cafe clientele. Using YCD | Platform, YCD | Player & MuVi Wall components, YCD revitalized the cafes, and imbued their atmosphere with ambiance via custom music playlists and dynamic digital video. The attention-grabbing YCD MuVi Wall in particular, has had a tremendous impact on sales as the Aroma head office remotely controls content to display the most accurate and relevant advertisements and promotions to cafe customers, even at the point of decision.

Not terrible, but formulaic and boring. The second paragraph is waaaaay too long. It emphasizes to readers this is going to be heavy going if you continue.

What if, instead, it read:

A single Matrox graphics card is driving six channels of digital promotions from just one PC on new high impact video walls that are revitalizing the environments of a top Israeli cafe chain.

Using a solution provided by YCD, la la la … you get the idea.

The original is kinda boring and filled with jargon and acronyms. The rewrite gets to the core of things – a gadget that can drive six videos off of one box, and a solution that is making a difference for a retailer.

Your lead paragraph is your opportunity to tell readers in concise terms what you have achieved and why it matters. Once you have readers interested, THEN you can tell those readers you are big dogs in the sector (though the term leader is meaningless) and then you can go into the details of precisely what graphics card was used.

The opening paragraph, like the headline, is critical to get people interested in your story. Really think through how to make that happen, and don’t just look around to see what everyone else does.

Next – Step 4 – The meat of the release

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